I am 34, and in mid-divorce. I am raising 3 kids; 1, 6, and 10. We just moved to a small cottage on Barlow Lake. I am struggling, more than I would ever tell anyone because I am always stupidly certain I’ll get through it. I have been chasing my purpose, slowly trying to decipher the clues that’ll lead me to it; incredibly vague f***ing clues.
I started by just doing something, I didn’t care what it was at the time. I took the first step into an unknown life to find the life I wanted, and go after it (FYI, going after it is hard as hell). Momentum is easy to get but almost impossible to keep. Sometimes now it feels like drifting. I’m still moving, but not by choice. I’m still moving because life is still moving, and I have no clue what I’m moving towards anymore, or which way it is. I feel like I can do anything. I feel like I can do big things, good things, kind things, world changing things. I want to start something.
I have always been an artist, but now I’ll use my art for words. I have things to say, and finally, the confidence to say them. Finally the strength to risk the bad feelings; the shame, guilt, and embarrassment, because when we can share actual real sh*t, it changes someone. We’ve all been through things, we all have a story, and we’ve finally realized that’s what “Local” is for. Yes, we put words on a shirt, but we need those words to mean something, whether the rest of the world knows it or just you. We want each person to own their story, and feel proud AF of their story. That’s when I feel like I’m home, like I’ve found what I should be doing. That part is easy.
The rest is hard. The part where we have to make dollars, and sell people on our ideals. The part where we are dependent on someone caring enough to buy in. The part where we have to go big in order to be able to keep going. That’s when we feel defeated. We have always said we would never give up, only change directions, but then what do you do when there is only one direction that feels right, and you can’t imagine going back.
Stephanie + Holly